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Why Stay Married And Do I Want To Be With This Person?

July 10th, 2011

Do I Want To Be With This Person?

Perhaps the hardest question anyone involved in a marriage or a relationship ever has to ask themselves is, Do I Want To Be With This Person.

We all have our ups and downs in our personal lives. We have both good times and bad in our working lives and in our relationships. Most times this is a temporary situation and we do whatever we have to do to overcome the problems and move on. Sometimes that means making some very big changes in our lives and quite literally moving on.

A Relationship Should Be Good For You
The fundamental requirement of a relationship is that it should be good for you. It can be good for you in many ways but overall, the quality of your life should be better because you are in the relationship than it would be if you were not.

It works both ways and should be the same for both partners. Your spouse should have a better life for being in a relationship with you too. The answer to the question of do I want to be with this person should be yes for both you and your partner. It may sound selfish but it is realistic and it is at the heart of why we want to be in a relationship and why we get married. Being in a relationship should not only be about making someone else happy. It should make you happy too.

Do I Want To Be With This Person For The Rest Of My Life

One sided relationships where one person is a giver and the other just takes all the time might work for some people in some relationships but it often has a limited life span leading upi to a time when the giver decides enough is enough. They ask themselves the question, ‘Do I want to be with this person for the rest of my life’ and they answer is no so they walk out of the relationship. Most of us would feel this type of relationship would be a recipe for disaster and it frequently is.

Do I Really Want To Be With This Person In A Relationship?

However our relationships come about we need to feel good about them. A relationship or a marriage should make us happy and give us that wonderful sensation of satisfaction and contentment that makes being in such a relationship feel so special.. If it doesn’t make you feel that way then perhaps you should ask yourself, do I want to be with this person in a relationship.

Is Your Partner Trying To Make Your Happy Too?

We go into relationships full of enthusiasm and eager to please our new partner. We want to make them happy and we want to do things to please them. The question is, are they returning the compliment and are they trying to make us happy too.

Was Getting Married Good For You?
When you are considering if a partner is good for you then you need to ask yourself how life would be without them. It is the only comparison you can make. You may worry what your family or your neighbors would think if you left but what you should be focusing on is whether your life is better with them than it would be if they were not around. If you could be married to anybody in the world, would you choose your present husband, or wife? If not then you should ask yourself what is missing and why not.

We Should Not Expect Perfection

Nobody is perfect least of all us. We should not expect perfection in our spouse, just as they cannot demand it in us, but we should expect to be happy. It is not unreasonable to think that being with someone and committing ourselves to them should make life better. If it doesn’t then there is something wrong with the match.

Nobody gets married to make their life miserable

When deciding to get married, nobody gets married to make their life miserable. We don’t go into a relationship wanting to be less happy than we are when we are single. Being in a relationship and getting married should make us happier than we were when we were all alone and the answer to the question, ‘do I want to be with this person’ should always be yes.

Do you ask yourself, ‘Do I want to be with this person?’

Do you have doubts about your relationship? Do you frequently ask yourself, ‘Do I want to be with this person?’ If you do then something is wrong and you should fix it. Get some counselling or at the very least, discus your relationship with your partner but if it cannot be fixed consider getting out of the relationship.

To learn more about relationships, marriage and coping with divorce click on the following highlighted link to some of Amazons Bestselling Books On Relationships Why Stay Married And Do I Want To Be With This Person?
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